The school children had settled down quietly, and orderly. They sat at their desks, backs straight, eyes facing forwards, visages open for studying just as a normal Japanese school child is in every class. They wore their black uniforms and sailor outfits impeccably. Upon their desks were the required textbooks, notebooks and their prescribed dictionaries. Right on cue the bell went and the teacher entered the classroom. He was young, cool and spoke perfect textbook English.

“Today, I can introduce you to your new special teacher. He has come all the way from America. His name is Brad.”

The students stifled their excitement and tried to remain serene as Brad entered the room. He was a tall man. At least six and a half feet tall. His skin was as black as Japanese hair. His voice was deep molasses. “Good morning everyone.”

“Good morning Sir.” They replied in unison and bowed.

“How are you all?”

“I am fine, thank you, and you?”

“I am fine too, thank you. I am very happy to teach you today.”

At this point their cool teacher took over and began to teach from the textbook for twenty-minutes. They repeated after Brad, listened to the teacher attentively and did their extremely taxing worksheets without a fuss. Then satisfied they had worked well the cool teacher turned to Brad, who was waiting patiently, his hands folded behind his back, for his turn. “Mr. Brad, why don’t you play a game with the students.”

“Sure, I would love to play a game with the students.” He smiled.

The students smiled in unison.

Brad walked around classroom towards the door. “This game is called crossroads or crisscross. Everyone stands up and then I ask them questions.”

The students do not turn around but they hear the door lock behind them. “Whoever answers my questions can sit down. The last person standing is the looser. Do you understand?”

The students hear some strange noises behind them but nodded in unison. The teacher turns pale as Brad walks back around the class to the front. Faces turn pale. Brad has turned into a giant killer robot. “What is the name of your Emperor?”

No one moved. Then, one boy quivered and raised his hand in the air. “You.” Brad pointed his metallic arm at him. “Answer.”

The boy’s arm remained wavering in the air. “Eto… eto ne… Taro Aso?”

The boy fell to the floor dead. “Wrong answer.” Brad smiled. “Does no one know the name of their own Emperor?”

No one moved. “I guess not.”

Brad then turned his guns on the whole class. First he pointed his giant robot sized pistol at one of the girls. An innocent girl with red rimmed glasses, a cute haircut and pouting lips. “No!” Shouted the Teacher.

He leapt in front of Brad. “I cannot let you do this. You foul foreign, butter stinking, Deceptajin!”

“Get out of my way Teacher. I need to re-educate your children.”

“No. These are virtuous children. Look at the girls. They are twelve years old, ready to be baby ovens for the good of the nation…”

The cool teacher was the first to die. Slowly one by one they fall as the evil black robot guns them down. The screen fades to black and words in stark red kanji, hiragana and katakana appear on the screen.


“Studying English is dangerous for you.

Any foreign teacher may be a Deceptajin in disguise.”

Then Billy Blanks came on the screen.

“Except American soldiers. We’re safe.”


The Vice-Principal then turned off the TV and turned to his new students. “Time for an introduction…”




2 Responses to “Xenophobots”

  1. Ha! Whoaaaaaa… I thought – where’s he going with this – then came the theme I know that you are able to make your own. Again – I am thinking Anime while I read … and that is a first with your work for me. Maybe its the page or something but it works, truly it does.

  2. Am glad you liked it. Its funny that you begun thinking of anime with my pieces. Even though i live in Japan, the home of anime, i have only watched 1 Hayao Miyazki anime in Japan and maybe only 5 back in England. I’m not so much of an anime fan. lol.

    Xenophobots actually comes from a cartoon in The Japan Times where some evil looking robots called Xenophobots attack some foreigners in Japan. It made me think of Transformers and the Autobots. Naturally this led to the Deceptacons, the baddies. And in Japanese jin or nin means person/people… so British peopel are Igirisu-jin. A quick fix later and we had Deceptorjins.

    The short story followed a boy called Takeshi, sadly the rest, which i was going to finish and post was lost with my computer’s suicide last night (see Kataklysm). It will be written again.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: